Princess

I’ve written about pet names before. Probably more than once. But this is an ever-evolving topic for me, so you’ll just have to suffer through it again.

A year or more ago, I had a friend that inspired eight great pieces of writing for me. There was a definite sexual tension with this man (I met him last year, along with his girlfriend. I didn’t feel the tension, but I did feel a great deal of affection for him, and still do), and in our conversations and exploring different kinks, he came up with a nickname for me.

He called me princess.

Whether it was due to the sexual tension already present, or just due to the connotations of what the name symbolized (age play, we’ll come back to that in a soon-to-be post cause it’s on my list anyway), I don’t know. But what I do know is that I had a strong reaction to it each time he typed it, or spoke it to me. You know. One of those physical kind of reactions, kind of like hitting the peak on a roller coaster and going over the other side. (Have I mentioned lately how much I love that feeling? *grin)

The “Muse” phase of our relationship didn’t really last all that long for many and varied reasons that don’t really rate any airtime here, but our friendship has continued. When I met him finally last fall, in a quiet moment when we were talking, he very softly called me “princess” and I laughed and said “none of that!” to him. It’s more like a joke between us now I think, and it’s actually a very cute thing.

I didn’t really think anymore about it after that. It was something that was between he and I, and it wasn’t like I went looking for someone else who’d call me that, or asked anyone to.

But someone did. Someone with whom I have a similar though not the same kind of relationship with now. Someone who does inspire quite a bit of my writing lately, and who I do consider to be a good and trusted friend, with strong interests in kink. I’ve referred to him in the past as the Southern Gentleman, and I think he enjoyed that little title, so I’ll use it here as well.

One night when the Gentleman and I were talking, I related to him the story above about the name. I think I made a little joke about it.

And then awhile later, he called me that.

And I got back on the roller coaster again.

I’m pretty sure my reaction was apparent by what I may – or may not have – said afterward, and the Gentleman admitted awhile later that he’d been hesitant to use it, thinking that it was just a “thing” between my former muse and I. And before that moment, if you’d have asked me straight out, I’d probably have agreed with that.

But we were both wrong.

“Princess” evokes an innocence from me that I don’t have much of anymore. (“I’d trade wisdom back in for innocence….Ben Jelen, ‘Slow Down’). It completely removes the need for me to be rational and wise. It allows me to be taken care of, rather than being the caretaker.

As I said, I had assumed that the pet name had so much effect on me because of the relationship I had with my former muse, but as it turns out, that wasn’t completely the case. Now, the fact that I have a similar relationship with the Gentleman may indeed have some impact on it (no, I wouldn’t get on the roller coaster if some smart-ass in the bank line called me a princess!) as well, or it may not.

I’m kind of guessing it has at least a moderate effect though.

Regardless of that, I was a bit in awe of his ‘ease of use’ with that word with me, and my reaction to it. Still am. And thinking about it now, after having seen it come up on my IM screen just last night from him, and remembering my vivid reaction to it, I’m smiling.

It’s funny how you think, when a relationship changes or ends, that you’re never going to get those specific feelings back. And maybe you never really do. But you can get similar, or even better ones to replace them, and not have the residue of an ‘ending’ hanging over them.

And how incredibly fired up one simple word can make me. *grin

Hm. This post so did not go where I intended it to go (yet again!). The original topic will have to stay on my list *smirk