So much better

I made a commitment to myself many months ago.

It was about how I was going to handle my personal relationships - or rather - how I was not going to handle them.

In my 41 years on this planet, I have never been courted. I have fallen into easy relationships, or I have gone after ones that I have wanted in the past, but I'm not doing that anymore.

Nope, that's right. If you want me, the move is yours and you'd better make it, because I won't.

I struggle with that, make no mistake. Old habits die hard, and they are always lurking in the back of my mind, waiting to spring out at absolutely the wrong time.

I do my best to beat them down /wink.

I've been alone now for about 2 years. That's a pretty long stretch for me. Typically, I'd be out pounding the "pavement" so to speak, looking for someone to at least keep my bed warm.

But being picky has it's advantages, I'm thinking. And, to be honest, I'm not feeling any major "hurry up" urge to seek out "the next one." either. Of course it'd be nice to have someone, and my bed does get a might cold - but I've got some major new-found confidence in the last several months, and right now, that's keeping me plenty toasty /wink.

I went to Philadelphia this past weekend, to spend time with a group of people (mostly my "guild") from Everquest. Some that I've known for years, some I've not known as long. I had an absolutely amazing time, and I have to say that I looked better - and especially - I felt better than I have in Years. 2 years ago, I would not have made that trip. But so much has changed for me in that time, that I absolutely needed to go. And I'm so fucking happy that I did.

I am currently 35.2 pounds from my weightloss goal. Who'd have thought? It hasn't even quite been a year yet :) I'd love to be 30 pounds from goal when my "band-iversary" rolls around in 3 weeks, but we'll see. I'm damn happy being where I am.

It's all good. All of it.

Take advantage of whatever makes you smile today. The more you smile, the better you feel.

Conflicts

Listening to: Nickleback

All's well here. Trying to slow things down enough so that I can update a bit more often as well as take better care of some things that need taken care of.

I'm a conflict.

I'm a very logical person. That's what makes me good at my job. I like black and white, yes and no, stay and go. I like absolutes. I like rules. I dislike living in the grey and assumptions.

I'm also a very creative person, and somewhat ethereal, as you know from reading here.

These two things do not go together very well. Now that my work on Me has started winding down, those two parts of me have started to do battle for control. /sigh

It'll run it's course
I wonder who'll win :)

catch up!

It’s a lazy rainy Sunday morning. Let’s play catch up.

What’s going on with me: Well, work and lots of it. Writing when I can; I finished a brief outline on the book I’ve been working on for 2 years, hoping it will motivate me to start piecing together the bits and pieces I’ve written and filling in the missing stuff. I had a fill in the band, and met one goal, started working on another. Started a long arduous process of some much-needed dental work on my lower teeth. Been playing EQ and WoW sporadically.

I’m on the fourth book of the Song of Ice and Fire Trilogy by George RR Martin. I’m enthralled by series, and will be sad when I reach the end of this book.

I’m taking a long weekend at the end of this month to go visit friends in Philly.

My ex still hasn’t filed divorce papers. I’m beginning to wonder if he really wanted one as badly as he seemed to think /shrug. Time will tell I guess.

Do I have a love life? No. Do I want a love life? Not really, not right now. A sex life might be nice though ?

Okay, you’re caught up.

Maybe now I can get busy with some more fun stuff to write about ?