The Ex Factor

I got an email from a reader the other day that asked me if my ex's minded being talked about in my blog.

I don't know. I didn't ask :p

Seriously, C knows this is here. I gave it to him a long time ago, but I doubt he comes anywhere near it, simply because his life is going in a different direction. M? Well, M is a pretty religious guy now (I still can't wrap my mind around what changed that), and I'm almost positive he doesn't even know this exists - and considering that we don't share any of the same friends anymore, I'm sure it doesn't matter. My friend, former "tether holder and muse", R from VA, knows this is here, and even reads it occasionally I think /wink. My first husband? Probably can't run a computer. J? J doesn't know much about 'this side' of me, so I'm sure he isn't aware of it, nor would he care.

I don't think I've said anything horribly negative about anyone. I've been honest about them, myself and the relationships I had (and still have in some cases) with them. It's not like I've given you their names and addresses so you can point and laugh at them on the street. I use them as examples. I write about them when they have affected my life in one way or another, or when they are relevant to me relating an experience I've had. This isn't a blog about how horrible my ex's are. I'd never devalue it, or myself, in that way. As a matter of fact, I am who I am today because of the relationships I have had with those men, and to be honest, I'm pretty happy with who I am today - so how can it be all bad? (*this does not include the jackass I lived with in my early 20's who thought beating women up (non consensually) was his right as a man. No, it certainly doesn't include him.*) I've taken away at least one good thing from each relationship I've had since my mid-twenties.

I am careful about talking about people I have in my life now. I've been very good about asking permission to write about certain things, even though that goes against my ability to "write what I want, when I want." There's a line between being able to write freely and being a good friend, and the line has to remain. I'm all right with that.