Take Care

I was having a discussion with a new friend the other evening about kink and personality. It brought a few things to mind that warranted some thought on my part.

I've said before on here that I am a caretaker. Caretakers make good submissives. In bed, out of bed, wherever. I handle things. I get things done. I want to fix little things before they get big and I want to make the person I'm with relax and feel as comfortable as I do with them. Rather than saying I do that because I'm submissive, I think the bigger truth is that I do that because I'm ME and that being that makes me a better submissive in a relationship that is set up that way.

But what about a dominant who is also a caretaker?

My friend, R in VA has a bit of caretaker in him, and he's a dominant. He related a story to me years ago about how difficult it was for his submissive to relax in a hot bath that he had given her (not like a present, like actually giving her a bath) after she'd had a long day. It was his prerogative to do so, being the 'head guy in charge' and all. But she wasn't comfortable being taken care of, because typically that's her job.

I can so relate to that. I'm pretty sure it'd make me uncomfortable as well. And unless that's what the dominant was aiming at (oh c'mon, you all like making us squirm, admit it), it'd be a tough situation for me. It comes from the same place as hating to ask for help. As wanting to figure out problems on my own. Doesn't mean I can't ask, and I have. Just means it takes me out of my comfort zone.

Anyway, I just that was something interesting to ponder. If, in the end, taking care of someone and making them happy means that YOU (or I ) have to sit back and allow yourself to be taken care of occasionally, well - I guess we'll find a way to live with it, right? *smirk*