Expectation and Realization

I've been told for many years that my expectations of other people are too high, and that if I simply lowered my expectations, my life would run a lot smoother.

I'm starting to believe that.

I have this thing, in which I expect other people to do things the way I would do them. Not everything, but things that directly affect me. I don't know if that's arrogance or narcissism or just plain unrealistic, but the fact is it bites me in the ass more often than not, and I really need to work on that.

Sometimes, I think I'd like to be one of these people who don't expect anything. That way, they are never disappointed, and they are always surprised when something good does happen. I can't seem to wrap my mind around that, though. I can recognize it easily when I'm doing it; I know the signs and I know when I get upset about something, why I'm actually upset. But recognizing it doesn't seem to dissipate it quickly enough for my ‘get over it’ mind. I usually end up stewing about it, and being miserable for a while before my head finally says ‘oh fucking let it go already’. Then I do. Then I’m fine.

Sometimes, I also wonder if thinking too much isn’t what causes 99 pct of the problems I find myself dealing with in my life.

I also found out over the weekend that sometimes I’m not as clear as I think I am. I am, as I’ve said often, a fan of ‘subtle’, but I always thought that subtle was clear enough. Apparently not. I wrote some time ago about men not taking hints and apparently, what I call subtlety is just something that people don’t pick up on.

Okay. I can swallow that (oh get your mind out of there.) and I can even make a concerted effort to be a bit more unmistakable and obvious.

Realizations are good.

I think.

And now that I’ve gotten all that out, I can get back to thinking – and writing - about sex.

So yes, it’s good /wink.