Management of Me~

My horoscope for today says, in part, "Lightheartedness should get your everywhere today."

Well, good. I hate it when they say I should be stressed out :P

I am feeling a bit of stress lately. Now that I've been at my job for about 6 months and have gotten intimate with all of the system we wrote and support here, I'm getting more and more work that's new territory for me. I love this, I really do. I love writing my own stuff from scratch, instead of trying to tear through someone else's code (especially when they can't document *Sigh*). But with that comes a lot of pressure and the "need for speed" and I'm beginning to get slightly overwhelemed.

It's funny. About the time I decide to start getting on with my life, and getting out there again - work throws me down on the ground in a non-consensual, non-orgasmic way :P I am starting to get a little frustrated with that as well. I'm letting things slide at home, too, which pisses me off. I need to just get on a schedule and stay on it.

And sleep. I don't sleep well, but I don't think it has a thing to do with anything work related. I think it's just emotional, and the fact that I really need to start working out again.

Also, the not having had sex since January thing certainly isn't helping :P

So, this weekend, it's time to get re-organized. Put myself on a work/sleep/play schedule that I can live with it, and try to stick to it.

I wish I were one of those submissive women who wants a dominant to do all that for me. Be a major micro-manager, and put her life in order. I'm not though. I'm an adult woman, I can do it for myself - I just need to get motivated to get it done.

I dislike being micro-managed. I don't like it in work, and and I don't like it at home. Sometimes, that seems like it'd be a much easier life to have that, but I can't see myself dealing well with it for long.

There are certain areas of my life that I enjoy having a dominant take control of. Sex, being the major one. Tell me when, how often, how. All that is good *grin*. I also don't mind being given chores - things to have done every day, week, whatever. Like coffee in bed? Tell me how you take it, and what time you want to get up. Want your slippers when you come home at night? Show me where they are. These kinds of things work for me.

But please don't tell me how to run my career. I've been doing it without help for 20 years, and I think I do a pretty good job. Don't tell me where to submit my stories to - I know the market very well. Don't tell me when I can or should go see my folks - I've been in that family for 41 years and I'm pretty sure I know them better than you do. Suggest? Sure - I love suggestions and will appreciate them when you offer them, but don't expect me to immediately follow. Those kinds of decisions are mine, and mine alone.

/shrug That makes me what it makes me. But it makes me happy, so fuck everything else ~