body play/sex play/mind play

Toys are nice. Toys are fun. Toys have a million and one uses in the BDSM arena. I have quite a collection of them myself and I must save I have at one time or another enjoyed have all of them used on me (except a few, which I’ve used on others).

But when you get right down to it. The very bottom of the desire. What is it for you?

Is it play? Spanking, paddling, flogging, whipping, clamps and cuffs and fun stuff?

Is it sex? Is this all about getting off for you?

Or is it all in your mind?

Or, is it all of them sometimes, and none of them others?

Four choices. Mine is, of course, choice #4.

So much of this is in my head.

It’s the "idea" and the "mental/emotional rush" of watching a man take off his belt and come at you, more than the feel of the belt itself.

It’s the "threat" of impending doom, more than the doom itself.

It’s the "intent" of his chosen words, more so than "will he or won’t he?"

With that – I get the play end (toys or no toys), I get the sex end (well, you know what that does to me, I’ve said it in here often enough) and I get the mental/emotional rush that turns quite physical for me.

Can I separate them? Sure I can.

I have a few favorite tops spread out around the country for that I’d bottom to in a heartbeat, without one ounce of domination or sex – simply because they are my friends, and I love their play style so much.

Men of a dominant persuasion – who are that, without having to try to *be that, can easily slide me right into a submissive headspace twelve feet deep without ever touching me.

And something as simple as holding my arms above my head while fucking me is incredibly sexy and dominant and..and...(I'm still at work, why am I still writing…)

And what if you had to choose one above all the others…, which would you, choose?

There really isn’t any question for me there. Mental.

I love play. And god knows, I love sex. But for me, mental and emotional domination are sexual, even without actual penetration. So that’s the road I’d travel, if I had to choose.

Thank goodness I don’t /wink.