Control #1

I watch people. It's a dirty little habit, but I watch how they react, interact, behave. I study.

There are people I've met and observed that have absolutely no control over their lives, nor do they seek to change that. These are people that let things happen to them, rather than making things happen for themselves. I used to be one of those people, many many years ago. I gave it up for lent *grin*.

There are other people who are in control of every aspect of their lives. They are the "Never let them see you sweat" people. Rarely react, rarely show any sort of natural response for things that happen to them. They remain calm, cool and collected in public, even in the face of great disappoitnment or anger. (I find this highly unnatural and more than a little creepy myself)

Then there are people like me - and most everyone else - who try their best to maintain control of their emotions, but also do not tend to hide them unless faced with ridicule or neglect. I do personally try to keep my emotions away from people that I do not know, or that do not know me well, and prefer to either share them with someone I'm close to, or with y'all *snicker*. So while I do maintain a great deal of control over my life and my reactions to live, there are times when that control goes away and I'm left with simply reacting to what life hands me at the moment.

I want to talk about control a bit.( and I'm probably going to end up doing it in two or three postings. I may save them all and post them in reverse so y'all read them in the right order :P) Control of self, control of another, control of everything, control of only sexuality. My brain has been busy even if my fingers haven't lately.