Shut up and beat me.

The last two days have been extremely emotionally draining, and what I think I’ll do is go crawl into bed and pull the covers up over my head.

What I’d like, though, is a beating.

Pain makes me focus on pain. All that other bullshit goes out the window. No ex’s, no work, no parental pressure. Just OW dammit OW dammit OW! And when it’s done, it takes the other stuff a long time to come back in. When it’s over, I can collapse into a nice little heap of exhausted mush and sleep it all off.

Oh there are other things that work as well. I could read or watch TV or focus my attention on a project. These things will also shove my last two exes out of my head and get me back to where I need to be. I could get drunk, something I rarely do (once a year maybe), or take a Xanax (thank you, two panic attacks 8 years ago that gives me a prescription to this day. I take maybe 2 a year).

But a beating is more fun :P

I told the ex last night on the phone that I was making my way back into the scene. He says “good for you!” Not like I needed his blessing, but at least I know I’m not going to take any shit from him about it.

Still haven’t found any dominants locally that I’m interested in (locally being less than 20 miles away). Maybe I’ll have to find me a vanilla boy and introduce him to “How Much Fun is it to Beat Sola’s Inner Brat.” It wouldn’t be all that I want, but it would be a release until I find what I want.

Ms Savanna has me thinking again, about all that relationship stuff and what makes a good D/s connection between two people. Well, I was thinking about it. Until I had to deal with the ex before the ex today, and his pompous, arrogant email about HIS daughter’s wedding (which I was invited to and had fully intended to fly to CA to attend until I got a whiff of his new demeanor.). Right now all I’m thinking about is a place where both of my exes can go bite themselves and I can relax. I can think of a lot of places that could happen. Unfortunately, none of them are within reach /wink.

Boy, I had a point when I started this, and it just kinda drifted off.

If you see it, will you send it back?