Virtually Sex (Part Two)

So, there’s cyber. And sometimes, cyber leads to something else.

Phone sex.

In the time line of my life, that’s the order they came to me, too. Until I started making connections with people online, phone sex to me was a 1-900 number commercial in the back of a porn magazine. It never occurred to me that people actually did it for fun with people they ‘knew’.

I think C was the first person I experienced that with, and it came about during a candid conversation about him coming up with a nickname for me. We started talking about everything sexual, and when I told him that I was not a ‘quiet’ girl, he decided he wanted to hear for himself. It grew organically from that (and that’s where Screamer came from).

Over the years, I’ve experienced it with several other people, but typically only with people I’d cybered with, or was in an actual relationship with. I’ll be the first to admit that phone sex is easier with someone that I’ve actually fucked in the flesh. But it’s also a good way to learn if the person on the other end of the line is someone I even want to fuck.

I want to hear the person on the other end of the line. I don’t just mean words, but those are important, too. I want to hear them as if they were lying on top of me and making those noises in my ear. I’m not a quiet lover and I am not all that fond of quiet lovers either. There are of course exceptions; times that it’s important to be quiet, but just as with myself, I want to hear how much someone is enjoying what they’re doing – or what’s being done to them – at the time. It’s a sexy form of feedback. And I’m someone who likes to know how I’m doing *grin

Phone sex varies from person to person. Some men want to do all the talking. They want to ask questions and have you answer them. They want to hear you moan and whimper but *they want to be the storyteller. And there are others that are completely opposite. They want you to direct them. They don’t want to touch their cock unless you tell them to. And then there are those that are collaborative. They want to contribute and they want you to contribute.

Some men want to hear you talk about what you’re doing. Some want to hear about what you’d like to be doing to them. And some want to actually *hear – not just your typical sex noises but they want to hear a slap, want to her how wet you are, things along those lines.

The first time you get on the phone with someone with the thought in the back of your head that it could lead to mutual masturbation across a phone line can be a little scary. Unless you’re specifically discussed it before hand, you don’t know which kind of person they are. Are you supposed to talk or react? Are you supposed to tell the story? Are you supposed to describe where your hands are? Because I’ve gone all different ways I typically wait to see what happens, and let it happen more naturally. Sometimes I do take the wheel, and I do enjoy that as well. But for phone sex to be good for both people on the phone, it needs to be a cooperative effort.

Above all, isn’t it supposed to be fun? Live porn, with someone who have made a sexual connection with? It’s like coactive erotica.

I don’t get the same things from phone sex that I get from cyber. I don’t get that creative energy most of the time.

But I do get other things. I get a voice.

And along with hands that I wrote about yesterday and masculinity and body hair that I wrote about yesterday, a man’s voice can be a very big turn on for me. He doesn’t have to sound like Barry White, and he doesn’t have to have an accent (though…accents are fun *grin) but when I can start relating a voice to a sexual experience, it just adds another sense on top of an already heightened experience. A strong voice on the phone when I’m feeling a sexual vibe can almost hypnotize me. That all maybe a holdover from when I was mostly into bdsm as opposed to other kinds of sex. Regardless, it's there and I feel it deeply.

So all in all, phone sex with someone that I have a good sexual energy with can be a great way of being able to express that. Even at times when I feel more shy than others (and believe it or not, I can be painfully shy sometimes), I can be drawn into it.

When I first started experiencing phone sex, I didn’t think I’d become a proponent of it. It hasn’t always been a comfortable thing for me, but once I do feel comfortable with someone, it can be a way to explore fantasies that one or both of you have. It can be a way of experimenting with something that you might like to do in person with the person on the other end of the phone someday and while it’s not a 100% guarantee, it’s a good way to at least gauge their interest.

Besides all of that, if you’re on the phone with someone with whom you have a good chemistry with, the experience can leave you sated in ways that cyber without that added sense of voice can.

And it is called phone *sex, isn’t it? *grin