Scary can be sexy sometimes

I’m re-watching The L Word from the beginning. I really like this series because it portrays people’s relationships as all being the same whether the partners are of the same sex or the opposite ones. Some of the characters drive me insane but the fact is they are the epitome of all that’s right and wrong with each of us.

I’ve just started Season Two. And in one of the episodes, this line made me actually pause the DVD and write it down:

Scary can be sexy sometimes.

If it weren’t, why would most women go after a bad boy at least once in their lives?

I think that maybe that’s why I’m so enamored with having my partner behind me. Fucking, making out, just a brief moment of intimacy – doesn’t matter. There is just something about that that sends me over the edge.

Don’t get me wrong please. There are multitudes of positions for sex that I enjoy and I especially enjoy the tried-and-true missionary. But even if you’re with someone you know well and have been with for awhile, having them behind you where you can’t see them – can’t see their eyes or their intentions – you still really don’t have any idea what they’re looking at, what they’re thinking, what they’re about to do. You can guess. And if it’s someone you’ve been with many times before, you probably know the routine by heart. But there’s also a possibility of something else - something new, something unexpected. That is what makes it a little scary. Good scary. Mostly *grin

There are other things of course that can be scary. Doing things publicly where you can be discovered. Doing something new or something you aren’t sure about. Those things are equally exciting scary. Exciting scary is good scary. And good scary is fucking hot scary.

Sometimes it’s fun to experiment with that. I have a little bit of a fantasy about being fucked bent over a bathroom sink and watching in the mirror. When you’re being fucked from behind, you miss out on all of the visuals and a lot of the point to point contact. Doing it in front of a mirror removes that. And that is also a little scary. You’d think that it would remove that – the being able to see – but it’s the seeing that’s scary in this case.

Fear pumps endorphins through your body. Maybe that’s what makes it so exciting to include a little bit of that in your sexual encounters sometimes. Then again, I like good surprises and being scared – just a little good scary – certain is a good surprise.