The Questionnaire, Part 7

Do you like to be spanked? If you’ve read much of this blog, you know the answer to that one already *grin. For the sake of a quick explanation, I am not a person who likes pain for pain’s sake but I do enjoy it for what it feeds me through my sexuality. Pain given in a sexual way something that elevates my senses; makes my experience more intense. So yes, I like to be spanked by someone I’m going to fuck, have fucked, or am in the process of fucking at that moment *grin.

How do you like to be spanked? Over the spanker’s lap, or with me up on my hands and knees on a bed. Building in intensity over time.

Do you like spanking your partner? Not really, no. I’ve said many times that I enjoy topping women but I do not enjoy physically topping men. If it’s something that my partner wants to try on, I’m happy to oblige, but as a part of a long term relationship, not so much.

Do you like having your hair pulled by your partner? Yes, please. This goes back to that whole primal aspect of sex. There are many reasons I keep my hair long, and it’s definitely one of them.

Do you like to pull your partner's hair during sex? Not typically, but I am not opposed to using my fingernails or teeth to make the same sorts of points. *grin

Have you ever been handcuffed or tied down while your partner had his/her way with you? Yes, but not nearly often enough. Every bdsm relationship I’ve been in, this has been discussed but it rarely happens. M didn’t feel comfortable with bondage unless it was during a physical pain sort of scene. C said it was too much like work. *shrug. But the times I have gotten to experience it, I’ve enjoyed it immensely.

Have you ever handcuffed or tied your partner down so that you could have your way with him/her? You know, I’ve only done that with a lover twice, and I enjoyed it much more than I had anticipated. I found out that day that I really get off on being a tease and I also found out that I cave far too easily. Oh well. There’s always the next time….

Have you ever done a heavy sadomasochistic (S&M) session with a partner? Yes. For many years, I was involved heavily in bdsm – clubs, parties, events. I played at all of them, both with partners and friends.

Have you ever played in a public dungeon with your partner? Yes. And for a long time I enjoyed doing so. I might occasionally enjoy it again, but not nearly as often as I did previously. I think that M sort of turned me off that. After awhile with him, I started to feel like I could have been just a toy he pulled out of the bag to show off rather than his partner. I did play in public after we broke up, but never again with a partner, always with friends or play dates. Because of who I was (and am, I guess), Screamer Girl, I had a certain notoriety, and I think M enjoyed portraying to the world that he was the one man who could ‘own’ me. If given the opportunity to play in public again for whatever reason with someone I trusted, I’m sure that I’d be open to doing so.

Do you crave being in control of or being controlled by your partner? Crave may not be the right word here, but I do enjoy it. Both sides. I wouldn’t have said that five years ago, but over the course of the last five years I’ve explored that part of myself – the ‘bitch in control of you’ part – and she does occasionally enjoy coming out to play. As far as being controlled, yes, I more than enjoy that. Even if it’s something small – just a hint of control – it adds a whole new level of sexuality to the experience for me.

Do you own a flogger, a riding crop, a human collar, wrist cuffs, or restraints for tying up your partner? All of the above, and more. The toybags in my closet are probably worth well over three thousand dollars and I’ve sold and given away another two thousand dollars worth of stuff over the years. Shame that the only things that have been used in the last several years are a flogger, my cuffs and a paddle. I’m not sure why I hold onto it all. But there is apparently a part of me that hopes to be able to use some of it again someday.

Would you be willing to mutilate your body to please your partner? No, not unless it was something that I wanted for myself.

To you, the term "vanilla" describes: simple sex without power, control or kink.