Energy

This has been a different kind of weekend for me. Typically on the weekends, I do my chores while playing on the computer or watching TV. I spend maybe a little time writing but more often than not, I’m messing around on the computer.

This weekend I undertook spring-cleaning. I nearly finished the whole house, including my own closets, but still have a little left to do. But I didn’t spend all of my off time in my office playing games. I spent it in my recliner, where my laptop and my wireless network make it possible for me to write. And write I did.

I drew some sexual energy from a conversation that I had with a friend on Friday and I’ve managed to hold onto it all weekend, and I’ve used that energy to draw upon, to cover some blog topics I’ve been meaning to get to, and to write one full piece of fiction and start another. Not to say that the energy didn’t get enhanced over the two days, because it definitely did. But I’ve managed to keep hold of it, even while cleaning and sorting through stuff.

I’m a person who likes to live in that state of ‘almost sexually excited’ as often as I possibly can. Because again, that sexual energy feeds my creativity. All creative people get inspired differently. Sex just happens to be my most reliable source. Even the slightest innuendo can make me grin and start to feel that little bit of heat. And if that’s all it is, it stays there and it keeps my awareness high, and keeps me on the edge of ‘where is this headed’. And I can definitely pull creativity from that.

That little bit of inspiration can come from a lot of places. Conversations in IM, email, reading other people’s writing, my own imagination and even things that touch one of the five senses, like voice or smell. I don’t need another person to feed it. But when I get that fed from another person, it seems to take me in directions that I wouldn’t necessarily think to go without it.

If I hear a man’s voice that I’ve heard in the throes of sex at a completely unsexual time, it can definitely turn my mind toward that path. Not always. But often enough. If I catch a whiff of something that reminds me of sex, or of a certain place and a certain time when I had that sexual energy cooking, it’s enough to send me off somewhere.

I’ve talked about all of that a lot this weekend because it’s been on my mind. I can go months it seems without being inspired, but the truth is, it’s not inspiration I’ve lacked at those times when the blog seemed dead and I was nowhere to be found. It was drive. It was motivation. It was energy. When I have all of those things, and when I am inspired, I am unstoppable at my keyboard. And those are the times when I am most satisfied with myself. When I am writing, and writing about things that make me smile, laugh, or want to run for my vibrator *grin

It’s definitely time for me to start thinking about publishing again. I have a huge backlog of stories that need to be edited and sorted out. I have some topics I’ve written about here that could easily be turned into essays. And I have my old book of poetry just sitting around, and since my publisher went out of business completely, I need to start thinking about either republishing it as it is, or adding to it.

This is something that honestly fulfills me and makes me feel happy and makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something. I need to take all of this creative energy and enrich my whole life with it.

It’s time for me to continue the trend from this weekend. To spend more time with the laptop and less time wasting time.

We’ll see how that works out *grin