Cheating?

I know there are things that I can do to make myself look and feel better, rather than waiting around to be thinner to re-start my 'real life'.

This (to the left) is one of them.

Why don't I do this?

It feels like cheating.

I realize...I do... that for every day -- to work, other places, wearing stuff like this would hold the extra skin closer to my body and make my clothes fit much better. The logical side of myself gets it.

But the emotional side of myself says ...now, wait a minute. What if I meet someone? It's not so much that these aren't my typical kind of panties (not nearly sexy enough for me), but that it feels like someone would be attracted to me with these on, but if it got to the point where my clothes came off, would they be disappointed?

And yes, I do realize that if they are, they aren't worth my time either but that's not really the point for me here.

The point is that it feels like cheating.

I don't want to feel that way. I want to feel better in my clothes and in this body. I'm not sure how to get over that.

I can usually talk myself out of (or into) almost anything but I have been struggling with this one for quite some time, and I can't seem to make it happen. Because again, logically, I do get it. But emotionally, I can't seem to get there.

I have to wonder if I'm still fighting the "I'm still fat/I don't deserve to look that nice" demon that I thought was mostly silenced (all except that fat chick in the mirror...I can't seem to shut her up for more than one day at a time).

I am putting ordering a pair of these on my 'shopping' list, and I'm just going to have to do it, and see how it works out. Typically, if I can't talk myself into something, I can force it, and get past it.

And y'all know how I do enjoy a little bit of force now and then .....