Vulnerability

I know that for many submissives and dominants, one of the attractions to the lifestyle is the vulnerability of the submissive partner. In some dominants, that gives them the "protector" mode they seek, and in others, it gives them a pliable human being to mold to their own. For the vulnerable person, it's an opportunity to rely on someone else - their strength, judgement, decisions - for a period of time and not have to make those choices for themselves.

For me, the consumate smart ass, I seem to slip in and out of that vulenrable state a lot, depending on a dominant's reaction to it. If he seems to thrive on it, I relax into it a bit more. If he seems to be cautious or even a bit scared of it, then I tend to put it away and go back to my smart-ass self. I don't think I do this conciously. But I've spent the better part of my life being able to read people - in whatever medium - pretty well, and thus I tend to change my actions/reactions/energy toward them, depending on the mood.

That's not really vulnerable, is it?

/shrug

I've been in self-protection mode for so many years that the opportunities I've had to be completely vulnerable to someone have either been a) few and too far between or b) not by free will on my side or c) too short in duration to make an impact over time. I find that if I'm actively seeking this feeling, I can't find it. So I quit looking for it.

And every once in awhile, I feel it toward someone whether I mean to or not.