Trust and Intentions

Trust and Intentions

Let's say for example that a dominant has told his submissive that she was not to use the cellphone all day. Maybe he had a good reason for that, maybe he didn't, but let's just say that was her instruction before leaving the house that morning.

Let's then say that she does use the cellphone that day. She calls her best friend and chats over lunch, remembering clearly what her partner had told her that morning, but ignoring it for whatever reason.

When she gets home that night, her cell phone is off, and at the bottom of her purse. He doesn't ask her if she used it, because he trusts that she followed his instructions. And she doesn't volunteer that she used it, because she doesn't want a spanking.

Who's losing out in this situation? Him? Because she disobeyed? or her, because she missed out on an opportunity to be - yes, I'll say it - submissive to someone she's agreed to be submissive to.

He's assuming she did as he told her, which means that he gets the rush of power regardless.

She gets - nothing, except perhaps a guilty conscience.

My question would be -- what in the hell are you doing there in the first place? If you are in a d/s relationship on the /s end willingly, then doesn't that pretty much say to the world that it's what you want and need? Why would you deny yourself a chance to be submissive if being submissive is what fulfills you?

Let's back up a bit, and say she honestly forgot, and dialed her girlfriend out of habit. Or maybe that she had a road emergency in the middle of nowhere. She comes home that night and fesses up immediately. Is he going to have any less of a rush of power in that situation? I'd not think so. Is she going to be any less fulfilled? Probably not.

That rambling example (and man, can I ramble or WHAT) is basically to talk about trust and intentions. And maybe to spark people to think a bit about the commitments they've made or are thinking about making to a d/s lifestyle.