Tricks

There is no trick to wearing lingerie when you're thin and confident about your body. The trick to it is when you aren't.

Let me say that in my early 20's, I basically starved myself for 6 months and got down to 135-140 pounds. I looked like shit. My face was pale and the skin looked transparent. I actually looked like I'd been sick for years. But I was thin. And I wore clothes that accentuated that - including lingerie - and wore them with ease and proudly. It didn't take long for the weight to creep back, and when it did, all those clothes (and the ease in which I wore them) went immediately out the window.

I make no secret of the fact that I'm a lingerie junkie. I love the stuff. And I love to wear it for people who appreciate it, and can appreciate the fact that it's no easy task for me to wear it, looking 'not perfect'. Aside from the fact that putting it on makes me feel incredible, that little part of my brain that looks in the mirror still says un-nice things to me. Typically I can shut her up. But she's still there.

I'd like to say that it's the media that's done this to all women - made us feel inadequate, and given us such beautiful women to compare ourselves to. And maybe it is, in part. But the fact of the matter is that most women are raised to believe that men's idea of beauty can only be what they see on TV and in magazines. There's no room for anything else.

Smart women know this isn't true. *I* know this isn't true. But that doesn't always help us get far enough past what we were always taught to believe.

I mentioned last week that I've started looking at corsets. The weekend got away from me and I didn't get my old one out of the bag to try it on, but I will this weekend or maybe sooner, because I really do need a comparison. I saw several that I liked at my favorite lingerie hangouts online (Frederick's, Shirley of Hollywood, Henry and June.com....) and I know that I really should wait to get a new custom made one done, so I'm going to placate myself with a couple of pre-made ones that I feel are going to reflect kindly on me. I have one picked out. I'll probably get 2 or 3.

Despite the lesser amount of insecurity I have with myself now, I do find myself shopping for 'the skimpy stuff' often enough to believe that while - no. I do not look perfect in it - I look good enough to feel good, and good enough for the outfit to serve it's intended purpose.

You know what that purpose is *smirk*