Fuel for Creativity

I draw a great deal of my creativity from sexual energy, be that flesh-on-flesh energy or simply energy that comes from inside me at certain times when I am inspired. Sexual energy fuels my need to create.

When I'm not feeling very sexual (and yes, it does happen), I lose my urge to create.

I started making soap again recently. It started with a comment from my Mom that she was out of the Lavender-Oatmeal soap I made for her, and ended up with me making 8 batches of soap out of supplies I still had. Then I ordered some more. And some new molds. It was a very nice couple weekends, but I've put it on hold for now because I ran out of drying room :) Creating that helped some. It broke me out of the deadzone, but it's not the same for me as writing.

I've mentioned in the past that I have a "friend" that I see occasionally for a weekend. Every 3-4-5 months or so. Typically when I come home from those kinds of weekends, my sexual energy is recharged, and I write. I write here, I write fiction, I write emails. The internal juices start flowing (as the external ones did during the weekend *smirk*) and my vigor is renewed.

Well, the ego bruise (see my last couple posts) got in the way of that this time, and it was frustrating for me. I liken it to being half way to an orgasm and stopping cold, and not going back to finish it in a timely fashion. I don’t like that feeling. It's also like being yanked out of subspace by a rude comment or a mis-directed whip shot.

I'm usually pretty good at pulling myself out of a funk, but this one took a little longer than I'm used to. And it's probably because I just couldn't put my finger on what caused it.

I'm hoping to fix that this weekend. My cousin's (I come from a small family; one first cousin!) daughter is getting married this weekend, and I intend to flirt with all of my cousin's friends. *grin*. Maybe I can find a way to recharge the energy I lost last week and put it to good use.

At least I hope so.

Because I have a lot I'd really like to write about, and I want that sexual energy back to push that forward.