Gotta Keep 'em Separated

I spent last weekend with my gaming friends at a 3 day house party.  I had a fantastic time, as I always do out there.  Good friends, good food, good drinks and good times.

Something happened Saturday night, early on, before anyone was too loaded *chuckle*.  There is always a lot of heavy innuendo going on at these parties -- most of us have known each other for quite awhile and we're all very comfortable together, so the flirting is pretty heavy, even amongst those folks who are married.  It's all in fun (although in the beginning there were a couple of people who took it a little too far).  I kind of have always stayed on the fringes of the really heavy flirting, mostly because I'm pretty low-key at these parties and the last thing I want is to end up doing anything like (the couple of people who took it a little too far) and once we start drinking, I know how my inhibitions lower.  So I'm careful.

But I didn't realize until last Saturday how careful.  Someone lobbed a very heavy flirt at me, and when I just smiled at him, he apologized, because he thought he had offended me.

(stop laughing.)

I realized then, that I do keep myself separated in different company.

There is Jill the Sexpot, who you know from here -- and then there is Jill, the calm, funny sarcastic chick from Wisconsin that (most of them) know.

I mean, look.  I am who I am.  But the fact is most of those people do not know Screamer.  They do not know I've published erotica or non-fiction articles about sex and bdsm.  They do not know about this blog or my obesession with all educational sexual material.

So I asked myself, after He Who Thought He Offended Me had been told otherwise...

Why do I do that?  Do I think that my friends out there would be offended by me?

Maybe I'm worried about that a little, but I don't think that's really it.  I'm going to need to keep thinking about that.

But it does bother me that I feel like I have to do that.  It's not really dishonest, but it feels dishonest.  And I don't like that.

Frankly, I don't think there's anything wrong with Jill the Sexpot.  I kind of like her myself *smirk*.  And I don't think that very many people would love me any less for it.  But it's hard for me to let her out of her box around some people.

Maybe if I let her out a little at a time ......