You gotta have priorities..

“Good sex just hides everything that’s bad about a relationship” from HBO’s “Tell Me You Love Me” series

That’s an interesting quote.

And unfortunately, despite everything I’ve said over the past 5 years of writing this blog, it’s at least partially true.

I have stayed in relationships far longer than I should have because the sex was good – or at least because there was sex and I didn’t want to shut down that opportunity.

But that’s not all there is to it.

Good sex can also give enough incentive to make a rocky relationship better, provided that both people believe there is something there to save.

I have been on both sides of that coin; in a relationship that wasn’t worth saving, and in a relationship that was rescued from the brink of disaster by a couple of really good fucks and a lot of talking in between.

Obviously I escaped the first and the second deteriorated eventually, but as with everything else – I’m always a fan of doing whatever you can do to hold true to your commitments, providing that you don’t put yourself or your self-esteem in jeopardy.

Call it what you will, sex is a huge part of any relationship. Can it kill a relationship? Yes. Can it save a relationship? Sometimes. Does it hide flaws? Maybe. But not for long. And not to the exclusion of seeing serious signs.

While I stand by what I’ve said about the importance of very good, very hot, very inventive sex in any satisfying relationship, it really does need to be said that sex can make or break that bond between people. I know there are people who’ve stayed in relationships for security, for money, because of children – all of that. But whether or not those people are actually –satisfied- is a whole other story.

And I would rather be satisfied with less money than rich and unfulfilled. I have always been that way, and likely always will be.

It’s a matter of priorities, I guess.

And my priority is happiness.