Life Lessons, Courtesy of the Verbose Chick

- Never take your first hit of acid and then let your friend put “Rocky Horror Picture Show” in the VCR. Seriously. This leads to all kinds of issues, including but not limited to sore cheeks and stomach muscles the next day from the laughter that you cannot stop. (Warning: I do not endorse illegal drugs and haven't touched them for years but this is a lesson that cannot be emphasized enough)

- In the 1980’s, the way to attract attention at a small venue rock concert (in this case, Twisted Sister), was to arrive at the concert in a borrowed hearse.

- In the 2000’s, it’s not too late to blast the CD from that Twisted Sister concert tour on your car stereo and bang your head on the way home from work.

- Long hair and lots of cleavage will take you a long ways but you might wake up and find out that they took you in the wrong direction. That’s okay. If you still have your shoes, put them on and walk your happy ass back home.

- Life is still too short for cheap, ugly underwear. Who cares if no one else is going to see it? You will.

- Losing weight will not cure all the evils in your life. It’ll just make you see them better because you’ll have a better view.

- No matter how much you try and justify it to yourself, if he treats you like shit, he’s really not worth your time.

- Treasure all of your girlfriends. You never know when you’re going to lose them or how. Enjoy them while you have them, and for fuck’s sake, never let a man come between you. He’s replaceable. She ain’t.

- Don’t be afraid to dance around your house. Who cares if the neighbors can see you?

- Music is for more than filling quiet time. One good song lyric can solve a puzzle you’ve been working on for weeks.

- Respect. Yourself.