Creating a way to happiness.

I think I've mentioned my 'stepdaughters' before. I communicate with them probably less than I'd like to but I do hear from them and they do hear from me. They mean a great deal to me, and I feel like they're one of the best things I ever let in my life.

Anyway, yesterday I got a letter from the eldest girl, who reminds me a great deal of myself at every age, and in her email, she said to me ...

"I hope you are happy."

I spent most of the day pondering that yesterday. I mean - I'm not unhappy. I'm mostly content even tho there are things in my life that I'm not yet satisfied with yet. I'm mostly positive. I'm mostly upbeat.

But am I happy?

I was still thinking about this last night. It occurred to me at some point that the times I have felt the happiest in the last year or so, I was creating something.

I was writing. I was making soap. I was cooking. I was thinking about baking. I was re-arranging furniture. I was styling my hair into something new. I was hanging stuff on the walls. I was blogging (no, really).

There are other examples.

I was actively doing something creative.

And maybe that's the key to it for me.

I've always known that creating makes me happy. Even planning creating something makes me happy. I guess I didn't realize that that is where most of my happiness comes from these days. When I'm not creating anything for long periods of time I am cranky and irritable and unhappy. My whole life hasn't been that way, and there are other things that do make me happy, but because I'm not dating and don't have a partner, those things don't exist in my world right now.

But creation does.

Last night, I looked through a baking cookbook I got from my folks' for Christmas. I love to bake. Seriously love to bake. I miss baking. I don't do it now except at Christmas, or unless it's a rare time that I'm going somewhere or someone is coming here. There were so many recipes in this book that I was dying to try, but given the lap-band and the diet I'm currently following, baking is probably not the best idea for me right now *chuckle*. But I miss it. And maybe after a couple more pounds are off, I'll go ahead and do some baking and just take it into work. I think I'd really enjoy that.

I took a trip to the craft store today. I'd seen a couple of projects on HGTV that I really wanted to try, so I bought the stuff for those. And then I also bought a gorgeous art print of a close up of a rose that says "Passion. Nothing in the world has ever been accomplished without passion."

Truly.

I've taken it all over the house, looking for the perfect place to hang it. I want to see it every day. I haven't quite decided, but I will before the night is over, I'm sure.

And I bought another scenic art print of a tree-lined dirt road that looks very ethereal. I bought it for writing inspiration. It's gorgeous.

It's nice when one innocuous heartfelt sentence from a letter from a girl -- no, woman -- that I haven't seen in many years but think of almost every day -- gives me pause, and makes me realize something very important about myself.

If I want to be happy more often, I can create my way to it.

And I think I will *smile*