People piss me off.

This is likely not going to have anything to do with BDSM, so if that's what you come here to read, you might well want to skip it.

This rant is about people. One incident in particular. And how I'm tired of being the good person.

Almost all of my life, I have tried vigorously to be the mature one - the adult - the forgiving person. It's how I was raised; and these are values that my grandmother instilled at me from a very young age.

Over the last few years, however, my soul has grown tired. I am tired of sucking up the blame when none is due me. Tired of being the adult and letting other adults get away with murder in my attemp to "keep peace". Tired of letting people walk all the fuck over me just so that I can feel good about being mature.

Problem is? I do NOT feel good about the bootprints on my back.

When this bit of drama arose a couple weeks ago, I did indeed still try to be the mature one, tried to let it go, pass, forgive. But it's not going or passing, and for some reason, I cannot bring myself to forgive this fuckwad who didn't just step on my back; he jumped up and down and danced a jig.

And so, I have not sucked it up. I have not remained quiet and I have not given him the benefit of any doubt. I intially tried to. But when you have the exact same story being repeated to you 20 times in 2 weeks, by 20 people who have no vested interest in the situation, you know better. No matter how much of an adult you want to be, you have to eventually face the reality of the situation and say to yourself "That is some fucked up shit right there. I have been wronged."

So now, all these people in my life who expected me to walk meekly into the night, accepting my fate and taking the lion's share of the blame for this are in shock. I believe they are confused as to my reaction and I truly believe that they're anger at me now is due to the fact that I did not follow my own pattern.

Awwww....here, lemme give you a hug. I'm so sorry you treated me badly and now have to deal with the reality of that. Suck it up dumbass.

I do not feel badly about how I have handled this. What I do feel badly about is that mutual friends are now caught in the crossfire. That, and the fact that this simply will....not....die.

*growls*

I will NOT go quietly into the night anymore.

(bdsm content) unless you gag me and turn out the lights~