Mental Pictures

I try really hard not to think too much about why I want what I want anymore. In the past, when I've given it too much thought, it's like I'm trying to talk myself out of it, and that leads to frustration.

But occasionally, something will pop into my head that I have to ponder.

I made mention the other day of finding a few new kink folks in EQ (which always makes my day), and one lovely lady sent me a few pictures of herself in hook suspension. They're gorgeous pictures, but I found myself looking at them and wondering..... What would make someone want to do that?

Then I started to think about all the things on my own play list, and tried to track them down to where the desire for them comes from.

The first one I was able to find an answer to was The Belt. It's not getting hit with a belt that I find erotic, it's watching a man pull it through the loops of his pants, knowing his intent with it, his eyes never leaving yours, his face grim, his stance firm. /fans self. I know where that comes from. I think I've told the story here before about how when M first came to Wyoming to visit me, we had spent some time with C as well. One evening while the three of us were together, I got lippy with C, and when M didn't do what C thought he should do (get me under control - HA), C stood up and took his belt off, as if he were going to come at me with it (with M sitting right there - M, being my dom at the time, C being my former dom at the time). C told me, after M went back to California, that he wasn't right for me. Turns out he was right, but that's neither here nor there. What makes The Belt desireable to me now is that I can still see C standing up out of the chair to pull his off, with M right there. I've carried that image for 10 years. I probably always will.

There are other things on the list that I'm sure if I thought long and hard about, I could come up with a mental picture similarly to relate them to my life. But nowhere in there can I find a reason to be suspended by hooks *grin* I'll leave that for the ones who enjoy it.