Sexy has nothing to do with skinny

Today when I finally got around to getting dressed, I opened up my closet and looked for something ... different.  Typically when I'm sitting around the house and not planning to go out, I'll throw on a TShirt and shorts or sweats or my yoga pants and call it a day.  Sometimes, I'll put on a bra.  Sometimes not.  Today, I grabbed a black camisole/tank with a built in bra. Not something I would normally wear at home or not - without something over it.

I resisted putting something over it.

Then I came back downstairs and continued what I'd been doing (Warcraft, what else?). 

I keep a mirror on my side-desk for use when I'm straightening my hair.  I caught a glimpse of myself in it several times while I played and I have to say, my reaction to the reflection was not as dismal as it might have been a few weeks ago.

I spent last weekend in Virginia Beach with friends.  I made a conscious decision while packing for that trip that I was done hiding.  I am not ashamed of my weight loss.  On the contrary, I'm very proud of it.  And while I'm not 100% happy with the downside of that weightloss, I'm trying very hard to come to terms with it, and realize that I am not a complete mutant and that when I feel good, I can look pretty fucking hot.

I've tried to keep that feeling alive since then.  It wasn't easy, baring my arms, and even legs (my god, I wore shorts in public wth! lol).  But I did it, and once I was out there, I pretty much forgot that I was wearing much less than I normally do.

Earlier today, when I caught those glimpses in the mirror, my hair was loose and on my shoulders, and I had my headphones around my neck (they looked almost like a choker).  I wasn't looking at the skin on my arms.  I wasn't looking at stretch marks.  I was looking at a woman who was comfortable in her skin and looked mighty fine at it.

I've done a bunch of reading lately about body image after extreme weight loss, and trying to follow through with some of the suggestions they offer. 

I'm getting there.

In the meantime, I'm going to have to try to dress a little more like a sexpot and a little less like someone who's ashamed of their body. 

Because I'm not.

You don't have to be skinny to be sexy.  You just have to feel sexy.