Sadness

A week ago Monday, one of my best friends passed away unexpectedly.  Not only had she and I been close for 25 years, but I am the godmother of her two oldest sons and she is the closest thing I have ever had to a sister (including my biological one).

The news of this took awhile to sink in, but once it did, I was devastated.

So, no.  I've not really been in the mood to write much.  I am feeling better but this is not something you just get over. 

Over the years, I've lost three close friends.  One to breast cancer, one to leukemia, and now this one -- they think to an aneurysm.  I haven't heard the final autopsy results yet.  It is never easy, and it is always devastating and it makes you stop -- quickly -- and reconsider your life as it is right now.

There are things that need to happen in my life.

I need to find a way to accept my body the way it is right now -- today -- and stop 'waiting' for when it's 'perfect', which logically I know will never happen.

I need to start taking better care of myself in more ways than just counting calories.

I need to stopping waiting for....everything and anything.

We all need to do these things.

But I need to do them -- now.

And for now, I need to get back to normal, more or less.
Normal, but better.