Sparks

I found a great documentary series on VH-1 Classic yesterday called The Seven Ages of Rock.  I didn't get to see all of it, but I did see 3 or 4 episodes.. one of which featured Stadium Rock, and Bruce Springsteen. I like old Springsteen (Rosalita, Cadillac Ranch), but I'm not a fan of his 80's + music (its all right, I'm just not gaga over it), including the Born in the USA album.  But as I was watching the documentary, and the "Dancing in the Dark" footage, one line in particular, that I've probably heard 4 or 5 thousand times in the last 20 years, struck me enough to jot it down.

"You can't start a fire without a spark."

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  There IS such a thing as bad sex, contrary to what you might be told (usually from people who aren't getting any).  There's also "okay" sex and "good" sex and "great" sex and "out of your fucking mind fabulous" sex.

But I don't believe you can get above "okay" sex if you don't have a decent spark of chemistry with someone.  The hotter the spark, the hotter the fire, so to speak.

There's a lot of components to chemistry.  Physical attraction is one of them, for sure.  I don't deny for one moment that being attracted to someone physically is very important to the heat of that spark.

But for me, that chemistry almost always starts in my head...in building pictures and fantasies in my mind. Those pictures, fantasies, ideas...sparks, if you will...are important to me.  They fuel my writing, they fuel my masturbation material, and they fuel my sexual-charge. They keep me on edge during the day, distracting me from ordinary stuff.  They make me smile for no reason.  They make me wet. 

The last several men I have had relationships with (sexual or serious), I met on line, and built that kind of chemistry with, previous to meeting them in person -- in most cases, before I even saw pictures of them.  I think perhaps part of the reason I'm having trouble with this whole 'dating' thing is that I'm used to - and damn comfortable with - this other way of getting to know someone.

Those sparks are important to me.

And I'm not sure I know how to create it "the old fashioned way".

I mean, I must have done it before.  I did get laid (and quite well, I may add) before I had a computer. 

I just don't remember how.  I'm hoping it's like riding a bicycle (or a cock, for that matter), and it'll come back. And often. *Smirk