"For once, I was dating a guy who focused one hundred percent of his attention on me. I was confident that he loved me and, even better, he allowed me to be in charge. I learned an important thing about dating; The person who wants the least amount of commitment in a relationship is the one who holds the reins."
This is the book I've had in the car for a couple weeks, and I actually brought it into the house tonight. I'm close to being done with it, and I'm going to want to finish it when I can really pay it the attention it deserves, rather than 5 minutes at a time in the car.
The above quote smacked me hard, right between the eyes. I'm surprised that my glasses are still in tact. In all but two of the sexual relationships I have had in my life, I have been the one as Jenna says it -- without the reins.
But the fact is, I'm not sure there's anything I can do about that, even going forward.
I was talking to a friend recently about the fact that I was going to finish a book even though I wasn't really enjoying it that much, and the word commitment came up. I made a commitment to the book, I'm going to finish the book.
There is very little that I do in my life that I do not commit 100% to, and do my damnedest to follow through on. I don't see that as a negative, though.
I just maybe see it now as a reason that I end up getting slammed.
And not in a happy "fuck me" kind of way, either.
See? Porn stars aren't stupid *grin.
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