Cuff me and leave me be


Why is it that people feel so safe in bondage? And by people, I mean me

Choice. As in, I have none. Once the cuffs are on, or the rope is knotted, I don’t have a lot of choices.

We don’t play with safety cuffs or with knots I can easily get out of (when we’ve used rope, which is rare). C has 2 sets of handcuffs that came from Gall’s (item RS005), that he’s had since before we met. I do not have a key for them. He has all the keys. I have some nice leather cuffs that came from my friends Midnight Blue’s several years ago (both wrist and ankle cuffs) but I don’t consider those bondage – those are play accessories for use on bondage equipment, unless you thread a padlock through the rings. Otherwise, they’re for support and while they do restrict movement, I’m pretty sure that I could get out of them if I wanted to.

If I can get out of bondage, what’s the fucking point?

Bondage slows me down . As I’ve said before, my mind goes a mile a minute sometimes, and I’m a type-a personality. If I’m tied up or down, or even just in a pair of handcuffs, I can’t very well act on most of the things going on in my brain. I have to just sit there. After awhile, in doing that, my mind starts to slow down, and I’m able to ‘space off’ a little – or, a lot, depending on what else is going on around me.

I remember a couple times, when C and I first started living together in Cheyenne, that we’d be watching TV, and out of the blue, he’d go get the cuffs, slap them on me, and then go back to watching TV. I just – sat there. Imagine the bliss in that for someone who has a real problem in just sitting there.

I’ve found little else that allows me that kind of quiet. I don’t have to do anything. I don’t have to make any choices. I don’t have to worry about a damn thing, because knowing C – knowing that he loves me and is not going to do anything to harm me (hurt, yes – harm, no) – it becomes a safe place to let myself drift off into nothingness. Meditation works – sometimes. I continue to have failed meditation attempts, where I can’t quiet myself no matter how hard I try. But nothing else that I’ve found really allows me to drift like that. In shutting off the continual racket in my brain, I can often come to easy answers to some difficult problems I’m trying to work out. That’s a gift.