Okay, I had a little nap and I feel somewhat better. The fact that I'm getting very little sleep due to having to take C. back and forth to base each day or every other day (my own fault - plates on the car expired and we're waiting for our stickers), I've been getting up at 5 or so with him and staying up til midnight or later reading because I can't shut my mind down. Hopefully tonight it will be better.

I'm not sure why I started this journal. Maybe because I want to record my time during this war - maybe because I hope that writing some of this stuff will make it less important. I'm hoping to round this to D/s soon enough and be able to concentrate on that and it's affect on my life, rather than this damn war.

I'll get there, I promise. Just let me work through this first.