You can tell I really love you, and agreed to submit to you if…
I let you fuck my ass

(‘Let’ is not the right word, but I’m short on “right” today)

I wish I were one of those women who really get into anal sex. But I’m not.

Anal sex for me has always been about pleasing someone else. I’ve had several lovers in the past who were truly into it. (One boyfriend, in my mid twenties, preferred it to vaginal sex – which got tiresome and another took it forcefully and without my consent more than once). Even with proper lubrication and plenty of warm up, it still hurts. The best I can muster is relaxing enough so that the pain slips into the background quietly while I concentrate on my partner’s pleasure. It’s a very submissive act for me.

C doesn’t care much for anal sex (too much work, according to him *chuckle*), so I guess I got lucky there. I don’t offer it to him (who am I to push something neither of us really wants? lol), and he doesn’t bring it up. It doesn’t fit into my ‘rape’ fantasies, either. The idea of being taken anally without lubrication is – shiver – unthinkable (painwise).

So, why am I talking about it, since it’s not part of my life? Am I subconsciously wishing for it?

No. *chuckle*.

I’m talking about it, because it’s on my list of topics. If I was ‘going somewhere’ with it when I put it on the list, I don’t remember.

So that’s all I gotta say about that.