*Squick*

A friend of mine used the word "squick" the other day with me. I haven't heard this word used in a very long time; since the days I used to hang out in d/s chat or read heavily on the d/s mailing lists.

Naturally, I got to thinking about things that used to squick me. And things that no longer do. And things that do now, that never even occurred to me 14 years ago when I started exploring this kinky stuff online. Since I started exploring, especially while living in California, a whole new world of kink opened up for me, most of which left me ... squicked. *smirk*

When I first started playing around with bdsm, blood was a total major limit for me. After spending some time with some very good tops, that do occasionally screw up, I've learned that accidents happen, and that while intentional blood letting is still off my list, it's not really a squick anymore; more like a 'please don't, but if it happens, please don't worry about it. It'll heal'.

Bodily functions - be they liquid or otherwise - still don't do much for me. Despite the fact that I've discussed water sports (of the liquid variety) both here and other places, it's not high on my priority list, and wouldn't even be considered in any sort of casual arrangement. While that particular activity used to be a squick - it's more like a 'pass' right now. Other functions, however - including being spit on, and...um, other stuff...yea, still squick.

The Urban Dictionary definition above is a little different than mine; I don't really draw a line between 'gross' and 'morally reprehensible'. For me, it's all about -- is this something I want to experience, or something that would make me run screaming?

Tastes and desires evolve. If they don't -- if you're still wanting the exact same thing you were X years ago when you first got interested in kink -- you either haven't played around with it much, or you have a fetish. When your desires change... when you open up to new things and eventually try them (and decide whether you'll do them again) -- you have a much better basis in which to judge what is capable of squicking you or not.

As for me, my list is somewhat different, but the basics remain - as far as what's off limits and what's not. I used to have 7 hard limits. Now, I'm guessing I have 4, if we can include anything that would get me sent to jail or the hospital as their own encompassing limits. Gags used to be on it, they aren't anymore. Whips used to be on it, but having experienced a few of the best whip-masters I've ever seen, they aren't, either. Face slapping was also on the original list and isn't any longer there.

Then again, I have a couple different sets of rules depending on who I'm playing with. Casual play gets less lee-way than people I'm more comfortable with and have a deeper level of trust with. It's all relative, I guess.

Well, that is, when I play. Which ain't...well, hardly ever. Which is fine for me right now *smile*

It was an interesting thing to think about. How people's minds change is fascinating. Even mine *grin*