Control #3

So when you control someone in a BDSM sense of the word (I wish I could quit using my little disclaimers. Maybe I will and just start freaking people out:P), how far do you like that take that?

I've basically seen three different levels of control/domination.

There's total TPE, where a submissive gives up all control except for the right and means to walk away. (And I'm sorry, I'm not one of these people that believe you can *ever* give up that right.)

There's a middle range, where a submissive gives up a great deal of control in her life, but maintains control over aspects like her family and career.

And then there's the final frontier: Situational control - mostly sexual.

I'm not the type of person who would belittle or degrade another who falls into any of these categories. I'm not a believe in "My d/s is better than your d/s!" and I don't think there's such a thing as a real or a true dominant or submissive. We're not following any rules handed down to us by BDSM gods for goodness sake. We're doing what feels right to us in individual relationships, and unless a person is in legal or moral danger, we truly do not have a right to judge anyone else's relationships. (sorry, had to say that. Seen too much of that lately)

I've been in all three types of relationships over the past several years. They all have their advantages and disadvantages, and they all suited me just fine at the time I was in them. I am a person who wants control over her life insofar as my family and career are concerned. Those things are vitally important to me, and unless I found someone who took that control in a supportive way, I'd want none of it anymore. There is a difference between actually enforcing control, and simply saying that you have it. /shrug. All relationships are different; all people in those relationships are as they are. I couldn't give myself over to someone who'd risk my career or my family to simply get them off, meaning, I might again step into a TPE relationship one day, after a long period of getting to know the dominant and how he works.

While I enjoy being controlled sexually (enjoy? hm. I know there's a better word than that....crave maybe :P), typically I'd want more than that. Even if it were all foreplay, I like to have my d/s out of the bedroom as well.

So, I guess for me, the middle option at this point in my life is what I'd look for, when I start looking for a one-on-one d/s relationship.

Now then. I'm almost done here :P Just one more.

(continued)